Abby Quillen

Freelance Content Marketing Writer and Editor

Parenting

August Field Notes

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August must have been the shortest month in history. At least, that’s how it felt for us as we swirled through a whirlwind of conferences, parties, birthdays, and projects. Fortunately, we also took some time out for a much-needed relaxing family camping trip just a few feet from the Pacific Ocean and a lovely hike in one of our favorite spots. I managed to capture some photographic evidence from those adventures, which I’ll share below.

What happened to the big website revamp, you may be wondering. Well, change is coming! But, for a myriad of reasons, I’m postponing it until after I launch my dad’s anthology in November. Stay tuned….

For now, I’m excited to be back to regular posting. I missed you all!

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Did you have any August adventures? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

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Imagine a City With No Cars

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Every summer in Eugene, the city blocks off a neighborhood to car traffic for an afternoon, and people come out to bike, walk, roll, dance, do yoga, listen to music, and celebrate in the streets. The event, called Sunday Streets, and similar ones around the country are inspired by Bogota, Colombia’s Ciclovía, which started in 1976.

We always have a great time wandering around and celebrating human powered transportation. While most people don’t want to live in a city with no cars, Sunday Streets events help us envision safe and vibrant city centers that cater to people, instead of automobiles.

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As I mentioned last week, August will likely be quiet here, as I travel and revamp this site.  (Of course, I may not be able to resist stopping in for a garden update; there’s so much happening out there!) I look forward to seeing you back here at a new and improved website in September.

Check Out My Kickstarter!

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My husband and I are in the middle of a Kickstarter campaign to crowdfund for my dad’s new anthology. (I wrote about the project here.) For a brief summary, my dad, who passed away last June, was a columnist for the Denver Post for 26 years, and I’ve been compiling his best columns from 1999 to 2012 into an anthology. It will be released on November 1, and right now we’re raising funds for publication, distribution, and marketing. Come on over and check out our Kickstarter if you’re interested!

The last three weeks have been a whirl of running a Kickstarter, sending out press releases, talking to the media, and setting up events. It’s been a wonderful learning experience, and I can’t wait to share more with you about the process when it’s all over. The best part, hands down, has been the lovely notes I’ve received with stories about my dad and how he impacted different people.

In addition to our Kickstarter project, I’ve been editing one article and writing another. It feels great to be busy. I am constantly in awe of how much I can get done in a day with my husband at home for the summer fielding more of the parenting duties.

Of course, I also take lots of gardening breaks. And just when I thought my garden couldn’t make me any happier, the sunflowers bloomed.

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I’ll be here next week with a post about Eugene’s annual car-free festivity. Then I have big plans for August including a writing conference, a family camping trip, and a revamp of New Urban Habitat, so things will likely be quiet around here if I can resist popping in to share pictures of squash and tomatoes. (Red tomatoes in July! Seriously, this is the best gardening season ever.)

What’s growing in your garden or life this summer? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

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Celebrate Summer

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Thursday, June 20 is the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. The sun will bathe the Arctic Circle in 24 hours of daylight, and ancient monuments around the world will align with the sun.

Seasonal celebrations can be easy and fun. Here are a few simple ideas for welcoming summer this year:

Celebrate

  • Place a bouquet of roses, lilies, or daisies in your family members’ bedrooms while they sleep, so they wake to fresh summer flowers.
  • Find a special place outside to watch the sunrise and sunset. You can find out what time the sun will rise and set where you live here.
  • Eat breakfast outside.
  • Trace each other’s shadows throughout the day to note the sun’s long trip across the sky.
  • Display summer decorations: seashells, flowers, sand dollars, or whatever symbolizes summer in your family.
  • Play outside games, watercolor, or decorate the sidewalks with chalk until the sun sets.

Explore, Plant, or Gather

  • Gather Saint John’s Wort. Traditionally Europeans harvested these cheerful yellow flowers on the first day of summer, dried them, and made them into a tea on the first day of winter. The tea supposedly brought the summer sunniness into the dark winter days. If you don’t have any Saint John’s Wort in your garden, you might consider planting it. It is  a useful herb, and it thrives in poor soil with little attention. Find out more about it here.
  • Visit a U-pick farm to harvest strawberries, snap peas, or whatever is in season where you live. Find a “pick your own” farm near you here.
  • Take a camping trip. Light a fire at night to celebrate the warmth of the sun. Sleep outside. Wake with the sun.
  • Go on a nature hike. Bring along guidebooks to help you identify birds, butterflies, mushrooms, or wildflowers.

Eat

  • Make a summer feast. Eat exclusively from your garden or the farmer’s market to celebrate the bounties of summer in your area.
  • Host a “locavore” potluck.

Read

  • Read aloud from The Summer Solstice by Ellen Jackson.
  • Read aloud, watch, or put on your own rendition of Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. For kids, check out the book A Midsummer Night’s Dream for Kids by Lois Burdett or Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream for Kids: 3 melodramatic plays for 3 group sizes by Brendan P. Kelso.

Wishing you a happy first day of summer!

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Working At Home With Kids: A Survival Guide

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When I decided to work at home a few years ago, a lot of people thought I was crazy. “You can’t work at home with little kids,” more than a few told me. On occasion (think: screaming toddler, ramshackle house, hungry cats, imminent deadline), I’ve agreed.  The work-at-home parent life is not always easy.

But most of the time I love it. I get to hang out with two charming little boys, spend lots of time outside and in my garden, see friends most days, and write. It’s a pretty wonderful gig. Here are some tricks I’ve learned to make it work if you too are doing the work-at-home life or contemplating it.

  • Divide the day

In the mornings, I do the house chores, including making a healthy lunch and sometimes dinner in advance.  Mid morning, we often meet friends or go to the park, on a walk, or to the library. In the afternoons, I work (during nap and preschool time and when my husband gets home). By dividing the day this way, my kids know what to expect, and I rarely have to multitask home and work tasks.

  • Reprogram your relationship with time

I worked outside of the home for more than a decade, so it took me a long time to shift to a work-at-home mentality. When I was gone all day and got home at 6:30 or 8:30 in the evenings, my main cooking concern was short preparation time. Now, I have plenty of time. So I can easily make nutritious meals that require little effort but lots of cooking time, like beans, grains, and stock. We rely heavily on those staples for most of our meals.

  • Plan, but not too much

For a long time, I made detailed to-do lists every day, which helped me remember everything I needed to do to manage a house and business. Now I’ve mostly gotten the house chores down, and I’ve discovered a new deceptively simple trick to stay on task with work. Right after I wake up, I think of the one thing I want to get done during my work time. I can’t believe how much this helps me prioritize and focus.

I’m also learning when to ditch the plans and take advantage of the perks of working at home. We’ve had some insanely nice weather this spring, and I’m grateful that I’ve gotten to revel in it. My garden is grateful too.

  • Schedule alone time

This year, I started waking up at 5 and going on a run or walk before my family wakes up. It’s completely transformed my days. I savor that quiet time outside (especially now that the sun is up and the birds are singing), and I have infinitely more energy and patience all day long.

  • Fill their tanks

When Ezra went through a hitting stage awhile ago, I discovered a magical solution to almost any behavioral problem. After trying nearly everything else I could imagine, I told Ezra to come sit on my lap for a few minutes when he felt like he wanted to hit his brother. He did, and the hitting completely stopped.

No matter how busy I am, I try to remind myself that it’s easier to give one-on-one attention each morning than to manage the whining, tantrums, and fights that ensue when attention tanks run low. Likewise, lots of outside play and regular high-protein snacks work miracles.

  • Silence is golden

A few years ago, I read an article by a police officer who responds to domestic violence situations. The first thing he does when he enters a house is walk around and turn off all of the background noise. He says usually a radio and TV are blaring. It took me a long time to realize how much noise can affect a household. I listen to a podcast or turn on music for a while every day. When it’s on, I really listen to it. Then I turn it off. We all get along a lot better when we can focus on and hear each other.

  • Turn off notifications

I heard that they design notification alerts to stimulate the opiate receptors in our brains. Maybe that’s why it’s nearly impossible to ignore one when you hear it. I check my email about three times throughout the day. Other than that, I keep it closed. The same is true for Facebook and Twitter, which I allocate a small window of time to each day. Trust me, I learned this lesson the hard way.

  • Beware the learning curve

Managing a house and business and parenting at the same time requires new skills, tricks, and tools. For me, it took about two years to feel somewhat competent, which leads me to my last point and the giant caveat to everything I’ve written above….

  • Be ready for change and setbacks

Every time I think I’ve got the work-at-home parent life down, things change. One of the kids goes through a monstrous (three-year long) bout of separation anxiety. Another gets four molars in two weeks. An editor emails with an amazing opportunity the same week everyone in the house gets the flu. It’s inevitable.

And finally, the most important thing I’d recommend for the work-at-home life is an awesome partner. My husband watches two little boys while he’s getting ready for work most days. Then he gets home from a long work day and usually makes dinner while I work. There’s no doubt about it, he’s the rock star behind this operation.[clickToTweet tweet=”Thinking about working at home with kids? Here’s your survival guide. #parenting #work” quote=”Thinking about working at home with kids? Here’s your survival guide.” theme=”style1″]

Working at Home with Kids_ A Survival Guide #parenting #work #family #workathome

If you liked this post, you may enjoy these related posts:

Do you work at home with kids? Do you have any tricks, lessons, or hacks you’re willing to share? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

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How To Learn Anything

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A few months ago, I said “shoes” in a conversation with my husband, and one-year-old Ira appeared in the doorway carrying his Stride Rites. That’s when we realized he can understand everything we say. It seemed to happen overnight.

Every day Ira learns a new word or two. “Doggy, doggy, doggy,” he squeals as the neighbors’ poodle trots over. “Bawk bawk,” he calls to the hens. Meanwhile, he’s guiding himself through a crash course in running, climbing, and riding a strider bike.

Four-and-a-half-year-old Ezra is teaching himself how to read, write letters, draw, paint, ride a scooter, and take photographs.

It begs the question, is it easier for kids to learn new things?

Scientists used to think so, especially when it came to language acquisition.

But new research in neuroplasticity suggests otherwise. It turns out our brains optimize themselves throughout our lives, reorganizing sometimes in dramatic ways, like after someone has a stroke.

That’s great news if you’ve always wanted to learn a second language or become a painter. If you put some effort into it, you can probably do it.

Here’s a little example from my life:

When I was about five, my best friend and I put on a concert for our moms. We sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

When we were done, both of our moms applauded.

“He’s a natural,” my mom said, beaming at my friend. My friend was undeniably musically gifted. He went on to later sing in a band.

I, on the other hand, sounded a little bit like a wounded tabby.

Into adulthood, I struggled to stay on key even when I was singing along to my favorite songs. By the time I reached 30, I figured I should erase singing, at least in public settings, off my list of past times. Most people who heard me politely agreed. Read: my husband.

Then Ezra was born. When he was about a month old, I was pacing up and down the hallway in the middle of the night rocking him as he wailed. On a whim, I sang a lullaby I halfway remembered my mom singing to me.

Ezra grew instantly quiet and gazed at me.

Singing, it turns out, is a maternal super power. So, of course, I was going to continue singing even if I needed to buy a case of earplugs for my husband and cats. I crooned the same lullabies over and over — at naptime, in the car, at bedtime.

A few months later, after I (coincidentally) finished singing” Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” my husband grinned. “You taught yourself to sing.”

He was right. For the first time in my life, I could hold a tune. Effortlessly.

What had changed?

I’d paid attention to it.

As I’ve written before, we often forget the astonishing power of our attention. Paying attention to something invariably transforms it.

“Whatever you pay attention to thrives; whatever you don’t pay attention to withers and dies,” Karen Maezen Miller writes.

We tend to pay attention to what we’re interested in.  So if you’ve always wanted to learn something and haven’t yet, maybe it’s time to ask yourself whether you’re really interested in it.

Or, you could try to find a screaming infant who loves the sound of Spanish verb conjugation or PBS painting shows.

Have you  learned to do something new lately? Do you want to? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

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