Abby Quillen

Freelance Content Marketing Writer and Editor

Family Traditions

Celebrate the First Day of Winter

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“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.” ― John Steinbeck

It’s hard to find words after the tragic shooting in Connecticut last Friday. I am grieving with the families and the community there. As we, as a nation, reflect on darkness, this Friday in the Northern Hemisphere, we will observe the winter solstice — the darkest day of the year. We also welcome back the light and try to remember that brighter days will surely follow this season of darkness.

The frenzy of the holidays may seem like the wrong time to add yet another tradition to your to-do list. The key is making seasonal celebrations simple and relaxing. They can be the perfect opportunity to pause, appreciate nature’s cyclical changes, the lessons each season imparts, and to celebrate the natural beauty all around us.

Here are a few easy ideas for saying farewell to fall and hello to winter on Friday:

Observe

Watch the sun rise and set. Take a walk, hike, or ski trip and notice all of the things you appreciate about winter. For me, it’s the branches outlined against the sky and the thrushes, sparrows, seagulls, starlings, blue birds, and wrens that make this part of the world their home during the winter.

Read

What better time of the year to curl up and share books? A few of my family’s favorite winter-themed picture books are:

  • The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
  • Owl Moon by Jane Yolen
  • Stella, Queen of the Snow by Mary-Louise Gay
  • The Big Snow by Berta Hader
  • A Kitten Tale by Eric Rohmann
  • Snow by Cynthia Rylant
  • Winter is the Warmest Season by Lauren Stringer

It’s also fun to read aloud from The Winter Solstice by Ellen Jackson. And if you’re in the mood for adult reads, check out this list of Good Books to Read in the Winter or the Independent’s 50 Best Winter Reads.

Eat

Make a seasonal feast, with foods like beets, winter squash, potatoes, onions, kale, cabbage, or parsnips. Prepare your favorite winter dessert or hot beverages. And don’t forget to light candles while you eat, a sure hit for kids and adults alike.

Reflect

When the sun sets, let your house dance with candlelight. Then after dinner, blow the candles out and sit together quietly in the darkness for a few minutes. Reflect on darkness and on how long and cold winter must have felt before we had electric lights and heat.

Other things you can reflect on together:

  • One thing you’ve lost this year and one thing you’ve gained.
  • One thing you want to say goodbye to in the new year and one thing you’d like to welcome back into your life.
  • Some of your best and worst holiday memories.

Wish

Bring an evergreen bough inside and make it into a wishing tree. Secure the bough in a bucket with rocks. Cut leaves out of construction paper. Have each person write down a wish for the coming year on each leaf. Hang the leaves on the tree using a hole punch and yarn or ribbon.

Hoping you have a happy first day of winter.

Do you have your own winter solstice traditions? I’d love to hear about them.

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Celebrate the First Day of Fall

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 “How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.” -John Burroughs

Saturday is the first day of fall. I must confess that my feelings about this time of year have shifted rather dramatically. I used to delight in everything about fall – crunchy leaves, red apples, the start of school. But now that I share my days with two little ones, fall does not not hold quite the same appeal. I love summer with kids – gardening and running through the sprinkler and throwing the doors wide open in the evenings — so it’s hard to say goodbye to it. But, ready or not, fall has arrived. Here are a few simple ideas to observe the change in season:

  • Reflect:

Do we subconsciously tip waiters more on sunny days? So says Leonard Mlodinow  in Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Life. And changes in the weather probably affect us in countless other ways that we’re barely aware of.

If you have some time this season to reflect on our relationship with nature and how closely our emotional states mirror the “capricious, moody earth itself”, I recommend David Abram’s mind-bending long-form essay “Air Aware,” which I read in Orion three years ago and still think about all the time. Here’s an excerpt:

If our sense of inward confusion and muddledness is anciently and inextricably bound up with our outward experience of being enveloped in a fog—if our whole conceptualization of the emotional mood or “feel” of things is unavoidably entwined with metaphors of “atmospheres,” “airs,” and “climates”—then it is hardly projection to notice that it is not only human beings (and human-made spaces) that carry moods: that the living land in which we dwell, and in whose life we participate, has its own feeling-tone and style that varies throughout a day or a season.

  • Read:

What better way to celebrate cooler weather than with a stack of fall-themed library books? Here are a few of my family’s favorite autumn picture books:

  • Too Many Pumpkins by Linda White
  • Leaf Man by Lois Ehlert
  • Autumn is for Apples by Michelle Knudsen
  • Apples and Pumpkins by Anne Rockwell
  • Fall is Not Easy by Marty Kelly
  • It’s Fall! by Linda Glaser.

It’s also fun to read aloud from The Autumn Equinox by Ellen Jackson, which educates on different modern and historical cultural traditions celebrating the day.

Looking for adult reads to help you wile away the cooler days? Check out some of the season’s new releases.

  • Eat:

Fall is a time of abundance where I live: bushels of sun-ripened tomatoes, every variety of squash . . . and pumpkins. Here’s a recipe that will bring some of the best tastes and scents of fall into your kitchen.

Pumpkin Bread

  • 1 and 3/4 cups whole wheat flour
  • 1 cup pumpkin, baked and mashed
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon cloves
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup olive oil or butter
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1/4 cup honey
  • a handful of walnuts or raisins (optional)

Mix and pour into an oiled bread pan. Bake for 50 minutes to an hour. Test with a tooth pick. Cool and enjoy.

(Thanks to my friend Craig, who generously shared this recipe with me several years ago, including all of his healthy twists.)

Wishing you a happy first day of fall. You can find many more ways to celebrate the season here.

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17 Ways to Celebrate the First Day of Summer

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Tuesday, June 21 is the longest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. The sun will bathe the Arctic Circle in 24 hours of daylight, and ancient monuments around the world will align with the sun. Historically Europeans celebrated the summer solstice by gathering plants and holding bonfires and festivals. Native American plains tribes held sun dances.

The first day of summer is a great time to start new family traditions. Seasonal celebrations are a fun way to connect with nature and they can be as easy or elaborate as you want them to be. Here are a few ideas:

1.  Take a trip to the library a few days before your celebration and pick out books about summer. Some of my family’s favorite summer picture books include:

  • Before the Storm by Jan Yolen
  • Summertime Waltz by Nina Payne
  • Canoe Days by Gary Paulsen
  • Sun Dance Water Dance by Jonathan London
  • Summer is Summer by Phillis and David Gershator
  • Under Alaska’s Midnight Sun by Deb Venasse.

For adult reading, check out these lists of 2011 summer must-reads compiled by NPR, Newsweek, and Oprah.

2.  Place a bouquet of roses, lilies, or daisies in your family members’ bedrooms while they sleep, so they wake to fresh summer flowers.

3.  Find a special place outside to watch the sunrise and sunset. You can find out what time the sun will rise and set where you live here.

4.  Eat breakfast outside.

5.  Trace each other’s shadows throughout the day to note the sun’s long trip across the sky.

6.  Take a camping trip. Light a fire at night to celebrate the warmth of the sun. Sleep outside. Wake with the sun.

7.  Go on a nature hike. Bring along guidebooks to help you identify birds, butterflies, mushrooms, or wildflowers.

8.  Make flower chains or a summer solstice wreath.

9.  Display summer decorations: seashells, flowers, sand dollars, or whatever symbolizes summer in your family.

10.  Gather or plant Saint John’s Wort. Traditionally Europeans harvested the plant’s cheerful yellow flowers on the first day of summer, dried them, and made them into a tea on the first day of winter. The tea supposedly brought the summer sunniness into the dark winter days. If you don’t have any Saint John’s Wort in your garden, consider planting it. It is  an incredibly useful herb, and it thrives in poor soil with little attention. Find out more about it here.

11.  Visit a U-pick farm to harvest strawberries, snap peas, or whatever is in season where you live. Find a “pick your own” farm near you here.

12.  Make a summer feast. Eat exclusively from your garden or the farmer’s market to celebrate the bounties of summer in your area.

13.  Host a “locavore” potluck.

14.  Turn off all the indoor lights, light candles, and eat dinner outside.

15.  Play outside games, watercolor, or decorate the sidewalks with chalk until the sun sets.

16.  Read aloud from The Summer Solstice by Ellen Jackson.

17.  Read aloud, watch, or put on your own rendition of Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. For kids, check out the book A Midsummer Night’s Dream for Kids by Lois Burdett or Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream for Kids: 3 melodramatic plays for 3 group sizes by Brendan P. Kelso.

Need more inspiration? Check out these resources:

The Magic of Storytelling

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“Mama, will you tell me a story?” my three-year-old son Ezra asks as I tuck him in at night.

Who could refuse, right? Of course, the moment I utter, “The end”, the follow-up request comes: “Another story, Mama? About a turtle.” We usually negotiate the number of stories to three.

Inventing three stories a night and often a couple at nap time can be daunting. Fortunately Ezra likes to hear about the same characters over and over again: a little boy named Henry, a lion he named Anagoa, Horatio the hippo, Fiona the crocodile, and an elderly turtle couple who live by the ocean. He also likes true stories, especially about the rainy June day when he was born three years ago and the sunny September afternoon when I met his dad 12 years ago.

Like most things to do with parenting, storytelling could feel like a chore, especially at bedtime – a time of the day that recently inspired one dad to write a bestseller called Go the F**k to Sleep. But I’m enjoying our daily stories as much as my son for a few reasons:

  • It gives my imagination a workout.

Hanging out with a three-year-old is great for your creativity. They are master pretenders and can jump into the imaginary world instantly. Just as when writing, I try to include sensory details, setting, conflict, twists, and dialogue in my stories. Those devices make for more entertaining stories for my son, and using them is great practice for all kinds of writing.

  • It forces me to turn off my inner editor.

At the keyboard, I can go over the same sentence five hundred times moving commas around. But when I’m telling my son stories, I have to improvise and let the characters lead me forward. It’s great practice for writing first drafts.

  • I have a captive (and honest) audience

It’s fun to tell stories to someone who’s enraptured with your every word. When Ezra is still talking about a character or story days after I told it, I know I successfully created a world for him. On the contrary, when I ask him, “Was that a good story?” he occasionally replies, “Not really.” For a writer, honesty really is the best policy; it’s the only thing that makes you better.

The Magic of Storytelling #narrative #parenting

If telling stories sounds boring or more pressure-packed than taking the bar exam, you might be surprised at how much you enjoy it. As Lisa Lipkin writes in Bringing the Story Home, “Since the time we enter this world, we live in stories, inhaling and exhaling them.”

As a society, we pay lots of money and spend hours having people tell us stories on television, in books, at the movies, and on podcasts. We can also do it for free at home, and tap into the magic of live entertainment and human connection at the same time.

If inventing yarns holds no appeal, don’t let that deter you. Fictional stories can help us understand human emotions and relationships and take us to faraway places, but telling true stories to your kids probably serves an even broader purpose: it helps them connect with their parents and understand who they are.

“Our children need a sense of somebodiness,” Roland Barksdale writes In The African American Family’s Guide to Tracing Our Roots. “Giving them a connectedness to the past can help, which comes through story telling.”

When I was a kid, I loved the stories my dad made up for me and my sister, memorably nightly installments of the adventures of a pica. But I was even more captivated by my parents’ true stories about where they grew up, how they met, and about those mysterious years they spent together before my sister and I were born. Those stories placed me in a family, connected me with relatives I’d never met, and helped me to understand who I am. Most importantly they helped me get to know my parents and set up a family culture of openness, conversing, and enjoying one another’s company.

So if you don’t already tell stories as a family, consider carving out some time to do it. Once you start, you might be amazed at how entertaining you can be – and by how much your family loves this simple, free, and ancient pastime.

If there's one universal thread that binds all people together, it's their need for stories. - Lisa Lipkin #storytelling #narrative #parenting

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Happy May Day

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When I was a kid, every May 1, I accompanied a friend’s family in their festivities. We made homemade baskets, filled them with flowers, hung them on neighbors doorknobs, and ran away. Since it wasn’t my family’s tradition, I never understood why or what we were celebrating.

It turns out that May Day was traditionally a pagan holiday practiced throughout Europe in honor of the end of the dormant winter months. Festivities varied from country to country, but dancing around a Maypole with ribbons or streamers has been a common activity in modern times.

May Day is a simple, fun, and earth-friendly way to celebrate the beginning of spring and share some of your blooms, plants, seeds, or handicrafts with your neighbors. Want some inspiration for homemade baskets? Check out these resources:

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10 Ways to Take Back the Holidays

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“Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.”  ~Author Unknown

By now, we’ve all probably seen and heard news stories like this:

  • Holiday Season Gets Off to a Good Start
  • It’s Going to Be a Merry Christmas for Retail
  • Holiday Shopping Spree Good News for the Economy

At some point, we started equating the holidays with heading out to the mall for a shopping frenzy. The average American plans to spend $714 on gifts this month. All too often, the recipients of these presents don’t need them, and we can’t really afford them. And along the way, the holidays became known for two things: stress and debt.

Christmas was magical when I was a kid. We went to my grandparents and opened presents under the tree, then we played and ate for the rest of the day. I loved getting gifts. But what I loved more was that the day had meaning. It wasn’t like any other day. Many of the things I remember most about the holidays cost almost nothing – handmade advent calendars, stringing popcorn and cranberries, making ornaments out of dough, and playing with my cousins.

This year, I’m on a mission to make the holidays debt-and-stress free – and magical. If you’re feeling the same way, here are 10 ideas to take back your holidays from consumerism:

1.  Plan an outing to be the center of your festivities.

Go ice skating. Take a carriage ride. Or go hiking, cross country skiing, or caroling.

2.  In lieu of traditional gift giving, do a homemade gift exchange.

Agree that all presents must be homemade – baked goods, art, songs, stories, poems, or crafts.

3.  Focus on quality over quantity.

Shop at a local craft market. If you don’t have one, shop at Etsy.com. Include information about the artisans with your gifts.

4.  Exchange books.

Support authors and the spread of the written word and ideas. Looking for a greener or thriftier option than new books? Shop at a used bookstore.

5. Create some new family traditions.

Make up a board game and play it. Put on a puppet show. Draw, paint, or craft as a family. Get creative and have fun.

6. Observe the winter solstice.

Make the first day of winter a simple, festive day focused on the change of the seasons, family, and friendship. (Stay tuned for my Wednesday post all about this topic.)

7.  Revise your holiday feast.

If making a huge dinner brings more stress than satisfaction, throw a potluck or pare down your holiday fare.

8.  Take a holiday from work and tune into each other.

Spend at least a few days not thinking about or checking in with your job, if possible. Also consider a sabbatical from the Internet, Smart Phone, and whatever else distracts you from your family.

9.  Write personal letters.

Instead of sending presents to faraway friends and family, write them letters in your own handwriting.

10.  Focus on the beauty and meaning of the day.

Decorate. Play music. Light candles. Make cookies. Cuddle on the couch. Tell stories. Read together. Stay present and breathe deeply.

More ideas on taking back the holidays:

What are your ideas for making the holidays debt-and-stress free – and magical?

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