A few months ago, I said “shoes” in a conversation with my husband, and one-year-old Ira appeared in the doorway carrying his Stride Rites. That’s when we realized he can understand everything we say. It seemed to happen overnight.
Every day Ira learns a new word or two. “Doggy, doggy, doggy,” he squeals as the neighbors’ poodle trots over. “Bawk bawk,” he calls to the hens. Meanwhile, he’s guiding himself through a crash course in running, climbing, and riding a strider bike.
Four-and-a-half-year-old Ezra is teaching himself how to read, write letters, draw, paint, ride a scooter, and take photographs.
It begs the question, is it easier for kids to learn new things?
Scientists used to think so, especially when it came to language acquisition.
But new research in neuroplasticity suggests otherwise. It turns out our brains optimize themselves throughout our lives, reorganizing sometimes in dramatic ways, like after someone has a stroke.
That’s great news if you’ve always wanted to learn a second language or become a painter. If you put some effort into it, you can probably do it.
Here’s a little example from my life:
When I was about five, my best friend and I put on a concert for our moms. We sang “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
When we were done, both of our moms applauded.
“He’s a natural,” my mom said, beaming at my friend. My friend was undeniably musically gifted. He went on to later sing in a band.
I, on the other hand, sounded a little bit like a wounded tabby.
Into adulthood, I struggled to stay on key even when I was singing along to my favorite songs. By the time I reached 30, I figured I should erase singing, at least in public settings, off my list of past times. Most people who heard me politely agreed. Read: my husband.
Then Ezra was born. When he was about a month old, I was pacing up and down the hallway in the middle of the night rocking him as he wailed. On a whim, I sang a lullaby I halfway remembered my mom singing to me.
Ezra grew instantly quiet and gazed at me.
Singing, it turns out, is a maternal super power. So, of course, I was going to continue singing even if I needed to buy a case of earplugs for my husband and cats. I crooned the same lullabies over and over — at naptime, in the car, at bedtime.
A few months later, after I (coincidentally) finished singing” Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” my husband grinned. “You taught yourself to sing.”
He was right. For the first time in my life, I could hold a tune. Effortlessly.
What had changed?
I’d paid attention to it.
As I’ve written before, we often forget the astonishing power of our attention. Paying attention to something invariably transforms it.
“Whatever you pay attention to thrives; whatever you don’t pay attention to withers and dies,” Karen Maezen Miller writes.
We tend to pay attention to what we’re interested in. So if you’ve always wanted to learn something and haven’t yet, maybe it’s time to ask yourself whether you’re really interested in it.
Or, you could try to find a screaming infant who loves the sound of Spanish verb conjugation or PBS painting shows.
Have you learned to do something new lately? Do you want to? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
Dear Abby,
I have just discovered your blog page. I am new to blogging so you are the first person I have commented on. I like the way you write about your everyday life with home and family.
Welcome to blogging, and thanks so much for your kind words, Angela!
I’d love to learn to draw. Also to be assertive. Since I’m not adept at either I have to agree with you, it’s about the time and attention we give these things. Or maybe necessity forces us to develop abilities, as with your lullaby-singing.
I love to draw and would love to spend much more time on it. I think you’re right about necessity forcing us to develop certain abilities. Right now, I spend a lot of time learning to be a more patient parent. It seems like I would have mastered that one by now. =)
Congrats on the singing! I sang in high school choir, but had let my skills go when the radio in my car died — at a time when I was commuting two hours everyday – – Took me a month before I got my voice back in ‘top shape’ 🙂
Didn’t fix the radio for 9 months – During the years of being a ‘responsible, hard-working adult’, I had let one of my pure joys slide by the wayside – I found that singing before and after work for an hour did for me what others claim meditation does for them – was determined not to forget that lesson.
Currently, I’m learning how to set boundaries (personal) and design a market garden (professional) – Going to be an interesting summer!
That’s amazing! My husband did the same thing when he briefly had an hour commute. He said it was his favorite time of the day, and his vocal skills improved dramatically. I agree – singing is definitely a form of meditation.
“Attend the minute particulars.” – William Blake
I started taking a watercolor class in January and I went from hating it to being absolutely in love. It’s amazing what doing something over and over again can do for you.
How inspiring!
I’m learning how to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom. I was a single mom for about 11 years, then I got married two years ago. We decided to have children (his first, my third), so I quit my job as teacher to be a SAHM. Such an experience!!
And I am also learning how to homeschool. My daughter will start homeschooling in August!
Great Post!!
Thanks, Jenn. I think it took me about two years to really get the rhythms of staying home down. Then, of course, everything changed. Ha! It’s definitely a learning experience, as I’m sure homeschooling is too.
I learned how to cook thanks to my daughter. Let me restate that, I learned how to eat better. I don’t know how the word “cook” came out like that. LOL
What I mean is that once I had a baby I started to really research healthy food choices. I was determined to not let her eat processed food or refined sugars. Since I had always HATED being in the kitchen, it really took a lot of effort to start preparing every meal. She is now 18 months and since she’s been born I have:
switched to a vegetarian diet
bought raw milk
subscribed to emeals.com (did I mention that I don’t like to cook?)
baked my own bread (thank you artisanbreadinfive.com)
started participating in a community supported agriculture program
started growing my own vegetable garden
and have a stronger knowledge of REAL, healthy food
That’s amazing, Susan! Having kids inspired me to learn a whole lot more about whole, healthy food and cooking too.
You have hit the nail on the head. I have been reading a lot of Charlotte Mason during the last year, and she strongly emphasizes (for education) to have short lessons at the peak of attention. I have implemented this in our homeschooling and it’s beautiful and so freeing. They get just as much (or more) in 15 minutes of peak attention than they would in an hour of me trying to keep their focus. I have found it true for me as well. I try not to read (to learn) anything unless I can give it full attention such that I could recount it back (“idea perfect” as Miss Mason would insist) to someone else. At least, that’s the idea =)
But singing. Yes, Truly a mother’s super power (as well as a well-told story), and something I was also terrible at until I’d had the last 7+ years of practice!
Hi Marianne! How nice to hear from you. I so wish you were still just a few blocks away. Charlotte Mason sounds fascinating. I’m going to check her out!