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Abby Quillen

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Take Back Your Time

10 Aha Moments in 2010

By Abby Quillen

You know that feeling you get when someone says or writes something far better than you could have? I love that feeling. Here are 10 of the more memorable times it happened to me in 2010:

When anthropologists spend time with aboriginal peoples, one of the very first things they almost always comment on is that these are folks who spend so much time with their loved ones that they almost have no concept of privacy the way we do. I tend to think that is the default setting for the human brain and human psyche. I believe it’s time that we start living as Americans as if relationships are the things that matter to us the most, not  our achievement, not our possessions, not our money. – Dr. Stephen S. Ilardi

Frugality is not the same thing as cheapness … Frugality is the exact opposite. Frugality is an embracing of quality. It’s an embracing of experiences. It’s really trying to look at, what are we spending our money on? Why are we spending this money? – Chris Farrell

For the privileged, the pleasure of staying home means being reunited with, or finally getting to know, or finally settling down to make the beloved place that home can and should be, and it means getting out of the limbo of nowheres that transnational corporate products and their natural habitats—malls, chains, airports, asphalt wastelands—occupy. It means reclaiming home as a rhythmic, coherent kind of time. – Rebecca Solnit

What’s really sad to me is not that people don’t send their kids out to play [anymore]. Let’s be clear what we’re talking about: get up in the morning, walk out the door, say, “Bye Mom,” and don’t come back ‘til dinnertime. And your mom has no idea where you are, or who you’re hanging out with, or what you’re doing. It’s just not an issue. That’s the kind of freedom we’re talking about. And what’s sad is not just that my kids don’t get that, that I don’t let them do that, that I don’t feel like it’s possible anymore somehow, but if I did … and when we do send our kids outside, there’s no one out there to play with. They’re just in this deserted moonscape, where something terrible happened to all the children, and they’ve been taken away. Where are they all? They’re all inside. It’s not right, and I think we know it’s not right, and I think it’s a persistent source of guilt for parents. – Michael Chabon

Whatever work I am doing –  editing a magazine or lecturing or whatever other work I am doing – I never hurry. … I say, there’s plenty of time. I don’t feel any kind of stress or strain when I do something. I do slowly, and I do with love and with care, and that way I can live a simple and slow life. I do only one thing at a time, and when I’m doing that thing, I do only that thing. – Satish Kumar

Somewhere along the line, I had stopped believing the evidence that was before me and started believing one of the central myths of modern American culture: that a family requires a pile of money just to survive in some sort of comfort and that “his and her” dual careers were an improvement over times past. – Shannon Hayes

I’m critical of these focuses on individual lifestyle changes, you know it’s our fault that there’s global warming because we didn’t ride our bike, or we didn’t recycle, or we didn’t carry our own bag to the store. Of course I think we should do all those things and we should definitely strive to live as low impact as possible. But we’re operating within a system where the current is moving us toward greater ecological devastation. So these individual actions that we can do, it’s kind of like getting better and better at swimming upstream. …. Rather than nagging our friends to take public transportation even if it takes five times as long and costs twice as much money, let’s work together to get better public transportation, so that the more ecological action is the new default. We need to make doing the right thing as easy as falling off a log… – Annie Leonard

We are so used to being in our metal-and-glass boxes that we forget how wonderful the rain is. And when the weather is good, cars isolate you from that. You don’t get to feel the sun on your shoulders, the wind in your face, the fresh smell of licorice when you pass a certain plant, see the squirrels dart past or the ducks mock you with their quack. – Leo Babauta

This is an increasingly noisy era — people shout at each other in print, at work, on TV. I believe the volume is directly related to our need to be listened to. In public places, in the media, we reward the loudest and most outrageous. People are literally clamoring for attention, and they’ll do whatever it takes to be noticed. Things will only get louder until we figure out how to sit down and listen. – Margaret J. Wheatley

Thus began my “secular Sabbath” — a term I found floating around on blogs — a day a week where I would be free of screens, bells and beeps. An old-fashioned day not only of rest but of relief. … Once I moved beyond the fear of being unavailable and what it might cost me, I experienced what, if I wasn’t such a skeptic, I would call a lightness of being. I felt connected to myself rather than my computer. I had time to think and distance from normal demands. I got to stop. – Mark Bittman

* Don’t forget, tomorrow is the first day of winter and the shortest day of the year. The solstice this year coincides with a full moon – a rare event. (The next time it will happen is on December 21, 2094.) And this year there will also be a total lunar eclipse on the winter solstice starting at 1:33 A.M. eastern standard time. It’s a special day for so many reasons. You can find simple ways to celebrate here.

Who or what inspired you this year?

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December 20, 2010Filed Under: Simple Living Tagged With: Anti-consumerism, Car-Free Living, Children in Nature, Connecting with Nature, Digital Sabbath, Environmentalism, Free-Range Parenting, Frugality, Listening, Living Locally, Quotations, Radical Homemaking, Rest, Simple Living, Slow Family Living, Slow Parenting, Take Back Your Time

Slow Summer Living

By Abby Quillen

Summer is meant to for slowness. Savor it and get outside. #summer #powerslow

Remember those long summers from childhood? My family spent lots of weekends camping each summer – going on hikes, reading paperbacks in the shade, wading in streams, taking afternoon naps, and telling stories around the campfire. Back at home, my sister and I rode our bikes all over town, walked to the swimming pool most afternoons, made mud pies, captured bugs in jars, read dozens of books, and just played.

Recently I stumbled upon journalist Kelly Wilkinson’s blog Make Grow Gather. She’s on a mission to relive one of those slow, lazy summers from childhood.

This summer, I am attempting an experiment. An experiment to take back summer. Like when I was a kid and thought everyday could be warm and empty and mine.

She made a summer to-do list. Here are a few of my favorite things on it:

Walk barefoot • Take a nap outside • Make suntea • Pick berries • Spend time in hammock • Go on picnic • Make herb water • Hang birdfeeder • Grow vegetables • Go to a farmer’s market • Read the Sunday papers outside • Learn a summer constellation • Go camping •  Read a summer book • Pick wildflowers • Blow a dandelion • Watch fireflies • Make lemonade • Watch a meteor shower • Eat a watermelon • Take a walk on a dirt road

In our house, summer is an opportunity for me to work and write a little bit more, since my husband is home more to watch our son. And that works out great, because after so many months of tearful morning goodbyes and refrains of “Dada gonna be home soon?”, they’re both pretty excited to spend more one-on-one time together. But Wilkinson’s inspired me also to make old-fashioned summer laziness a priority in the next two months.

So I’m planning to spend lots of time here…

and here…

and in our other favorite escapes, and to just really enjoy these long days with my family. So I’ll probably be posting a little bit less during the next two months. But hopefully you’ll be too busy catching fireflies, picking berries, blowing dandelions, and gazing at stars to notice.

June 30, 2010Filed Under: Family life, Nature Tagged With: Camping, Childhood, Family life, Hiking, Laziness, Leisure, leisure time, Nature, Relaxation, Seasons, Summer, Take Back Your Time

Days of Rest

By Abby Quillen

Last week my son and I spent a couple of nice, leisurely days at the Oregon Coast with my mom and sister, who were visiting from out of town. I’m always amazing by how recharging even a short time away from work, emails, phone calls, and social networking can be.

In the last few months, I’ve started powering down every Sunday – leaving the computer, email, and phone off and hanging out with my family. Sometimes we go on a hike, go swimming, or walk to the park. Sometimes we hang out at home and linger over breakfast, read the newspaper, and work in the backyard. I usually take a nap with my son in the afternoon or read a novel.

At first taking a day off just felt strange. Between taking care of my son and the house and working on this blog and my writing business, I’m used to toiling nearly every waking moment. Sundays just felt entirely non-productive, even wasteful. But as the weeks pass, I find myself looking forward to my family’s slow, quiet, non-electronic Sundays.

Moreover, I’m realizing that a day of rest is actually productive. It gives me time to think and reflect, which are necessary elements to the writing life. And I don’t find myself wasting time, procrastinating, or avoiding work as much on the other days of the week, because I know I’ll get a chance to rest and recharge on Sunday.

Many have long understood the importance of a weekly day of rest. Followers of Judaism observe Shabbat from sundown on Friday until Saturday night. They are freed from the regular daily labor, can spend time with family, and can contemplate the spiritual aspects of life. Traditionally Jewish people also observed a Shemitah Year every seventh year, when they left the fields fallow to give the land and society time to rest. All debts were also canceled during that year, so they could begin anew again.

Many Christians observe a day of rest on Sunday. Some Muslims take a day or half day of rest on Friday. And there’s a new movement growing called Secular Sabbath. Marc Bittman wrote about it in the New York Times a couple of years ago, when he came to terms with his addiction to being plugged in. He discovered what I and probably many others have in our always-on society – forcing yourself to unplug can be surprisingly difficult:

I woke up nervous, eager for my laptop. That forbidden, I reached for the phone. No, not that either. Send a text message? No. I quickly realized that I was feeling the same way I do when the electricity goes out and, finding one appliance nonfunctional, I go immediately to the next. I was jumpy, twitchy, uneven.

Like me, Bittman eventually adjusted and came to look forward to his days off:

Once I moved beyond the fear of being unavailable and what it might cost me, I experienced what, if I wasn’t such a skeptic, I would call a lightness of being. I felt connected to myself rather than my computer. I had time to think, and distance from normal demands. I got to stop.

Do you take a day of rest each week? How do you spend it?

May 10, 2010Filed Under: Family life, Simple Living Tagged With: Family Time, Leisure, leisure time, Quality of life, Rest, Sabbath, Simple Living, Take Back Your Time

Can Work Be More Family-Friendly?

By Abby Quillen

For the last eight years, researchers at the McGill University Institute of Health and Social Policy and the Harvard School of Public Health have been studying workplace conditions and protections around the world.

They looked at 190 of the 192 United Nations countries, comparing the following workplace policies:

  • Paid maternity leave
  • The right of mothers to breastfeed new infants during working hours
  • Paid paternity leave
  • Paid leave to meet personal health needs
  • Leave to address family members’ health needs
  • Paid annual leave
  • A day of rest every week
  • Overtime restrictions
  • Increased pay for overtime hours
  • Paid leave for family emergencies
  • Discretionary leave for family needs
  • Leave for family events such as marriages and funerals
  • Increased pay for night work
  • Restrictions on night work

Their findings are stunning.

Of the 190 countries,

  • 177 nations guarantee paid maternity leave. The U.S. does not.
  • 164 nations guarantee paid vacations. The U.S. does not.
  • 163 nations guarantee paid sick leave. The U.S. does not.
  • 157 nations guarantee workers one day a week of rest. The U.S. does not.
  • 74 nations guarantee paid paternity leave. The U.S. does not.
  • 48 nations guarantee paid family and medical leave. The U.S. does not.

1.6 million workers in the U.S. lack paid sick leave. Congress is currently debating guaranteeing seven days of paid sick leave to people who work in businesses with 10 or more employees. But of the 163 countries that guarantee paid sick leave, 100 of them guarantee six months a year. And 155 guarantee at least two weeks.

Jody Heymann and Allison Earle present the study findings in the book Raising the Global Floor: Dismantling the Myth That We Can’t Afford Good Working Conditions for Everyone. They say that while many have argued that the U.S. cannot guarantee workers more family-friendly benefits because it would increase unemployment and undermine America’s competitiveness in the world, the data from this groundbreaking study invalidates that argument. Some nations with the best working conditions have the lowest unemployment rates. And some countries that are considered the most competitive in the world provide the best work-place protections.

You can read more about the study and see comparative maps of workplace benefits in different countries here.

And you can listen to an interview with Jody Heymann on the Diane Rehm Show here.

(If you’re interested in this subject, you’ll probably also enjoy this post about the organization Take Back Your Time.)

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December 18, 2009Filed Under: Family life, Social movements Tagged With: Family life, Paid Maternity Leave, Paid Sick Leave, Paid Vacation Leave, Raising the Global Floor, Social change, Take Back Your Time, Work, Workplace benefits

Take Back Your Time

By Abby Quillen

timeclock

(The first in a series highlighting U.S. Movements to celebrate, support, and spread the word about.)

Americans, along with Australians and Japanese, lead the industrialized world when it comes to the number of hours we log on the job. We work a full nine weeks more per year than most Western Europeans. And we’re guaranteed no paid sick, vacation, or family leave through the law. American workers have made large jumps in productivity in the last forty years, but our increased productivity has not translated into more leisure time for us. We’re toiling about five weeks more per year than American workers did in 1970.

With so many Americans out of work today, it may seem weird to talk about the issue of overwork. However, the two problems are related. The more hours individuals work, the fewer jobs are available, which is why companies nationwide are instituting voluntary or mandatory furloughs and reducing employees’ work schedules to avoid layoffs. As strange as it seems, with company’s closing, mass layoffs, and sky-high unemployment rates, we may actually start hearing more about overwork. In 1933, at the height of the Great Depression, a thirty-hour workweek passed the Senate. (The Roosevelt Administration withdrew its support, and the bill didn’t make it through the House).

The folks at Take Back Your Time (TBYT), a broad, non-partisan coalition, have been sounding the alarm on American “time-poverty” for years. They contend that overwork and “time-stress” have detrimental effects on our:

  • health
  • marriages
  • families
  • relationships
  • communities
  • democracy
  • pets
  • self-development
  • spiritual growth
  • environment.

Their six part Time to Care Public Policy Agenda fights for:

1.   Guaranteed paid leave for all parents for the birth or adoption of a child.

Currently the U.S. Family and Medical Leave Act only allows 12 weeks of unpaid leave if you work at a company that employs more than fifty employees. Between 2001 and 2003, only 28% of pregnant women actually took maternity leave.

Why is paid family leave important?

baby hand bw

Time off from work before and after a baby’s birth helps strengthen families and has broad societal and health-care-related effects. Consider the findings from two studies conducted by Sylvia Guendelman (University of California Berkeley) :

  • Women who took leave in the ninth month of pregnancy were 73% less likely to have a Caesarean section than those who worked up to delivery. Caesarean deliveries are associated with longer hospital stays, risks of surgical complications, and longer recovery times for mothers. (Women’s Health Issues, January/February 2009)
  • Women who returned to work shortly after delivery were significantly less likely to establish breastfeeding within the first month. Breastfeeding is associated with numerous health benefits for babies and mothers. (Pediatrics, January 2009)

The World Health Organization has this to say about the importance of Family Leave:

famleave

A pregnant woman should have a reduced physical work load and no night work during the second half of pregnancy.

A pregnant woman should have complete absence from work from week 34 to 36 depending on her health status and physical workload.

Women need at least 16 weeks absence from work after delivery.

Breastfeeding is a major determinant of infant health. Infants should be exclusively breastfed on demand from birth for at least 4 and, if possible, 6 months of age and should continue to be breastfed together with adequate complementary food until the age of 2 years or beyond.

How does the U.S. compare to the rest of the world? Here’s a sampling of parental leave benefits in other countries:

  • Sweden – 16 months with 80% of pay
  • Lithuania – 52 weeks with 100% of pay
  • Spain – 16 weeks with 100% of pay
  • Poland – 16-18 weeks with 100% of pay
  • Canada – 50 weeks with 55% of pay
  • Algeria – 14 weeks with 100% of pay

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2.   One week of guaranteed paid sick leave for all American workers.

Americans currently have zero days of sick leave guaranteed through the law. The implications of this has been in the news recently with the threat of a flu pandemic.

3.  At least three weeks paid annual vacation leave for all American workers.

time off

More than 147 countries mandate paid vacation. The United States is the only industrialized nation that doesn’t .

Are vacations important? Consider these findings:

  • Over 12,000 men were enrolled in a heart health study (Psychosomatic Medicine,2000) and followed over nine years. The men who took vacations most years were 20 percent less likely to die of any cause and 30 percent less likely to die of heart disease than those who forewent regular vacations.
  • In the Wisconsin Women’s Rural Health Study, women who took vacations frequently were less likely to become tense, depressed, or tired, and were more satisfied with their marriages.

vacation

4. A limit on the amount of compulsory overtime work an employer can impose.

Currently the Fair Labor Standards Act provides no protection for workers 16 and older who do not wish to work mandatory overtime. Adult workers who refuse overtime are subject to employer discipline and discharge.

5.  Making Election Day a holiday.

declarindep

U.S. voter turnout for presidential elections jumped about five percent between 2000 and 2008. Yet only 56.8% of eligible voters made it to the polls last November. Contrast that to turnout in:

  • Australia – 95%
  • Italy – 90%
  • Germany – 86%
  • Brazil – 83%
  • Canada – 76%
  • Britain – 76%
  • Japan – 71%

Why are Americans so lackadaisical when it comes to democracy? In a survey conducted by the California Voter Foundation, 28 percent of infrequent voters and 23 percent of unregistered voters said they don’t vote or don’t register because they’re too busy. It can’t help that voting day is on a Tuesday, when the majority of us have to work.

If making Election Day a national holiday seems too bold, we could simply move election day to a Saturday, or as Martin P. Wattenberg proposed in a 1998 Atlantic Monthly piece, move it to the second Tuesday in November, combine it with Veterans’ Day, and call it Veterans’ Democracy Day.

6.  Making it easier for Americans to choose part-time work, including hourly wage parity and protection of promotions and pro-rated benefits for part-time workers.

Part-time work equality benefits families. 60% of working moms say they’d prefer part-time work.

The European Community implemented a directive on part-time work to “end less favourable treatment of part-timers in order to support the development of a flexible labour market, by encouraging the greater availability of part-time employment, and increasing the quality and range of jobs which are considered suitable for part-time work or job-sharing.”

You can learn more or become a member of Take Back Your Time at www.timeday.org.

Are you a fan or member of a movement fighting for social, cultural, or environmental change? Leave a comment! Your movement could be highlighted in a future New Urban Habitat article.

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May 16, 2009Filed Under: Family life, Parenting, Simple Living, Social movements Tagged With: Burnout, Holidays, Leisure, Overwork, Paid Family Leave, Paid Sick Leave, Paid Vacation Leave, Simple Living, Social change, Take Back Your Time

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