Abby Quillen

Freelance Content Marketing Writer and Editor

Search Results for: resolve

A Year of Meditation

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You will be far more productive in the ensuing hours if you begin the day by spending five minutes actively engaged in doing nothing at all. – Karen Maezen Miller

Last year at this time, I resolved to do something that seemed radical at the time – nothing. I made a commitment to sit for 15 minutes every day and meditate. Why? We’ve all heard that meditation can change our lives. Sometimes the claims read like an infomercial. It’s supposed to prevent and cure everything from anxiety to heart disease. And MRI scans show that in the long-term, meditation can even change the way the brain functions.

But I was looking for something less dramatic. I felt unfocused and impatient. I was spending too much time multitasking and surfing the Internet. I was restless.

I’m happy to report that during 2010, I sat down nearly every day and did nothing for 15 minutes.

There are lots of ways to meditate. I simply sit, close my eyes, and pay attention to my breath. Thoughts and emotions invariably come and go, and I try to simply take note of them and return my attention to my breath. Sounds simple, right? Sometimes it is. Other times, it’s not.

Has meditation revolutionized my life? It’s hard to say. I feel more focused, relaxed, and at ease at the start of 2011 than 2010. But there’s nothing dramatic about meditating. It is what it is – resting, paying attention, simply being. In other words, it’s not something you can easily measure or quantify – at least without an MRI machine.

That said, it’s a practice I’ll be continuing it into 2011. It gives me a chance to rest, and I find that I take those moments of sitting into my days. When I’m feeling impatient or angry, I’m more apt to recognize those emotions as fleeting and to breathe.

Did you stick with your New Year’s Resolution for 2010? Did you make a resolution for 2011?

Just One Small Change

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When I was writing my New Year’s Resolutions series, I went on the lookout for simple and inexpensive ways we might live better in 2010. And it struck me how much we might be able to improve our lives by making just one small change.

For instance what if someone committed to a daily walk? That alone could bring better health, relaxation, improved sleep, connection with neighbors, and more quality time with family. And if the walk replaced a car trip, it could even save some money. Every small change I thought of had a similar snowball effect.

Recently I heard an interview with William Wittman, a life coach in Seattle. He talked about an easy daily exercise that he recommends to his clients and insists he’s seen it bring huge changes to people’s lives. He calls it “Owl Ears and Owl Eyes”. The idea is to go outside first thing in the morning, stand still, and look up, down, and side to side without moving your head while listening closely to the sounds around you, first the loud ones, then the quieter ones.

Wittman says that by connecting with nature like this first thing in the morning, we connect with what’s meaningful in the world. And by focusing on looking and listening, we can’t help but quiet our mental chatter and relax. He says he’s seen this one small change motivate people to get healthy, find fulfilling work, reach out to friends, and on and on.

I think Wittman might be on to something. Awhile ago my neighbor put down black plastic over the garden in his backyard, which attracted ducks – sometimes sixty of them at a time. And now each night the ducks circle over our neighborhood in groups of four or five, flying lower and lower until they’re just overhead. (I wrote about it before here; my neighbor has since built a pond for the ducks.)

I’ve been shocked at how much this random, natural (and free) event has improved my family’s quality of life. Most nights we go outside to watch the ducks, and we chat with our neighbors, connect with nature, and enjoy each other’s company. Just one small change really has added up to so much more.

(Originally posted on March 16, 2010)

What do you think? Has one small change ever made a big difference in your life?

Just One Small Change

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Photo Credit: Matthew Hull

When I was writing my New Year’s Resolutions series, I went on the lookout for simple and inexpensive ways we might live better in 2010. And it struck me how much we might be able to improve our lives by making just one small change.

For instance what if someone committed to a daily walk? That alone could bring better health, relaxation, improved sleep, connection with neighbors, and more quality time with family. And if the walk replaced a car trip, it could even save some money. Every small change I thought of had a similar snowball effect.

Recently I heard an interview with William Wittman, a life coach in Seattle. He talked about an easy daily exercise that he recommends to his clients and insists he’s seen it bring huge changes to people’s lives. He calls it “Owl Ears and Owl Eyes”. The idea is to go outside first thing in the morning, stand still, and look up, down, and side to side without moving your head while listening closely to the sounds around you, first the loud ones, then the quieter ones.

Wittman says that by connecting with nature like this first thing in the morning, we connect with what’s meaningful in the world. And by focusing on looking and listening, we can’t help but quiet our mental chatter and relax. He says he’s seen this one small change motivate people to get healthy, find fulfilling work, reach out to friends, and on and on.

I think Wittman might be on to something. Awhile ago my neighbor put down black plastic over the garden in his backyard, which attracted ducks – sometimes sixty of them at a time. And now each night the ducks circle over our neighborhood in groups of four or five, flying lower and lower until they’re just overhead. (I wrote about it before here; my neighbor has since built a pond for the ducks.)

I’ve been shocked at how much this random, natural (and free) event has improved my family’s quality of life. Most nights we go outside to watch the ducks, and we chat with our neighbors, connect with nature, and enjoy each other’s company. Just one small change really has added up to so much more.

(This post is for Steady Mom’s Thirty Minute Blog Challenge.)

What do you think? Has one small change ever made a big difference in your life?

Resolving to do nothing

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Photo credit: Tammy Strobel

I wrote a lot about resolutions in January. What I didn’t mention is that I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions.

This year I decided to though.

I’ve read and heard a lot about the benefits of meditation over the years, most recently in this fascinating interview with Jill Bolte Taylor, author of Stroke of Insight. Taylor is a neuroscientist. Several years ago, she had a nearly life-threatening stroke that wiped out the left side of her brain. She lost her ability to talk, read, and write. But without the left side of her brain functioning (that’s the part that thinks logically, names things, and worries), she felt an extreme sense of euphoria and well-being. Taylor believes meditation can teach the rest of us to quiet the left side of our brains and experience a similar sense of well-being .

I’ve also read about various studies showing that meditation can boost the immune system and make people happier.

I’ve practiced meditation occasionally over the years, but this year I decided to commit to 15 minutes every day. Like most people, I’m busy. I have a toddler, so solitary quiet time is a rarity. And when I have it, I’m usually feverishly working. So this idea of sitting silently for 15 minutes a day felt like something of a radical act.

What is meditation?

People use many different techniques to meditate. The general idea is to try to focus your attention on one thing. Some people say a mantra or “om”, some sit in front of a mirror, some dance or walk.

I simply sit in silence, close my eyes, and try to focus on my breath. When I inevitably find my mind drifting, I just try to bring my awareness back to my breath. I use the word “try”, because meditating is not as easy as it might sound.

Much to my surprise, in just one month, I’ve noticed some fairly huge changes in the way I think and feel.

• More focus.

I have not always been the most focused person. I partly blame the Internet, because I got used to jumping back and forth between ten tabs at once, skimming things, and clicking from link to link. Then I transferred that mindset to my daily life.

For example, I was reading a lot of books at a time. I’d have four or five stacked up on my nightstand. I’d read half of one, then pick up another, then go back to the first one, or pick  up a new one. And even though I’ve always loved fiction, I got distracted from novels most easily, often putting them down after a few chapters.

I am thinking so much more clearly now. I’ve mostly eradicated multitasking from my life. I make a checklist and do one thing at a time. And I’ve been reading one book at a time start-to-finish and have finished a number of novels. (I imagine making checklists also plays a role in my new-found focus, but more on that in another post.)

• Just being, not thinking

It’s easier for me to just be, for its own sake, without over-thinking it. For instance, I can stand in my backyard and feel the wind, listen to the birds, hear the trees rustle, and smell my neighbors’ woodsmoke without even naming those sensations to myself. Meditating seems to be teaching me to feel without thinking, just as Taylor suggested.

• Emotional awareness.

When you meditate, you observe emotions coming and going. You’re supposed to just be aware of them, notice what they do to your body, and name them as they pass. “Fear, anger, impatience, etc.” After practicing this during meditation, I’m more aware of how I’m feeling when I’m not meditating. (This can be quite helpful when living with an irrational (but adorable) toddler.)

• Making peace with slow

I love listening to the radio and podcasts, but I also spend a lot of my days in silence. I find that I’m even more at ease with the silence now. Also when those inevitable slow times arise during parenting, i.e. waiting for a toddler to eat, get dressed, fall asleep, walk in the same general direction as you, etc., I’m seeing them more as opportunities to practice being present and aware.

Honestly this radical experiment I undertook last month feels a lot less radical now. I don’t feel good unless I sit and do nothing for 15 minutes. It’s starting to feel essential.

When I used to run four or five days a week, I felt an incredible freedom knowing that I could just run anywhere if I needed to. I feel a similar sense of freedom knowing that I can just be.

Do you meditate? If so, have you noticed changes in the way you think and feel since you started?

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Making Resolutions

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It’s almost a new year, which means many of us are engaging in a favorite American occupation – self help.

As the promise of a fresh year approaches, we shop for new calendars and resolve to be better – to quit smoking, drink less, get organized, save money, start an exercise routine, eat more vegetables, etc. Not surprisingly, publishers print a bonanza of diet and self-help books this time of year to aid us in all this resolution-making.

I fear that our zest for looking for individual solutions to our problems can distract us from working for collective solutions, like paid sick leave and creating more livable cities.

But, like most Americans, I also love the idea that a person can apply some good old-fashioned will power and become something better. And I’ve certainly made lots of positive changes in my own life by making relatively small changes.

I’ve fortunately never been drawn to get-rich-quick or lose-weight-fast schemes. But I have been known to digest a few tomes of the simple-living variety of self-help.

I find such freedom in the notion that by choosing to have less stuff, we can have more time for more fulfilling pursuits, like family, friendships, and creativity. (And, at the same time, we can add less to the landfills and stop contributing as much to the traffic congestion and brown clouds of pollution that plague many of our cities.)

So in honor of the New Year, I’ve decided to scout out my favorite easy, simple, inexpensive ways that we can live a little bit better in 2010 … Stay tuned.

Powering down : Field notes from TV turn-off week

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In honor of TV turn-off week, I moved the TV to the closet on Monday morning. I like the room so much better without it, and I love that we can’t just mindlessly switch it on. I think we might have found a new home-base for it. My real challenge wasn’t dumping the TV though, since it’s hardly ever on. Unplugging the computer, on the other hand, was a bit more of a mêlée.

Actually, it was a wonderfully relaxing week. It didn’t hurt that the weather was near-perfect, and the magnolias, rhododendrons, lilacs, and cherry blossoms exploded into aromatic splendor. Instead of gazing at a screen and click-clacking away at a keyboard, I:

  • Played and read with my baby.
  • Made bread the old-fashioned way (I’d forgotten what a workout kneading is!)
  • Read The Urban Homestead by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen; Herbal Tea Gardens by Marietta Marcin; Spunk and Bite: A writer’s guide to Punchier, More Engaging Style by Arthur Plotnik; and When a Crocodile Eats the Sun by Peter Godwin.
  • Laid on the grass and watched the birches and poplars sway.
  • Brewed the first herbal sun teas of the summer.
  • Took afternoon and after-dinner walks.
  • Tended to our newest housemates – four adorable fluff balls (aka chicks).
  • Relished long, still afternoons – just like the ones I remember from childhood.
  • Indulged in naps snuggled next to my baby

Okay, so, yes, I might have replaced my computer time with lots of relaxing. It’s probably no wonder that I enjoyed the week. It was liberating to put my endless blogging and writing to-do list aside for several days. But, I did miss writing. I even found myself reading a book on word choice, a sure sign that one’s obsessed (or hopelessly geeky?).

The week’s lesson is that I need to unplug myself more often. So I’ve resolved to:

  1. Take one screen-free day a week.
  2. Only check my email once a day and look at Facebook even less.
  3. Avoid the computer during family time.

I’m ashamed to admit that before TV turn-off week, I was checking my email three, four, even (ahem) six times a day. I’d be typing my password before I was even aware what I was doing. I felt jittery sometimes when I couldn’t check in, and I was always at least a tiny bit disappointed when my inbox was empty. Email and Facebook had become a way for me to procrastinate, to distract myself, to be mindless. Even worse, Internet-time had been getting in the way of things that are more important to me – quality time with my family, writing, reading, and creative projects. When I switched the computer off for a few days, that habit (okay, addiction) dissolved, and I felt so much more relaxed.

Even though it’s been nice to catch up on my emails and my favorite blogs today, I’m already looking forward to the next TV turn-off week (September 20-26). Last week, my house and backyard became like a retreat, and I so delighted in the long, quiet days.

If you feel like you need a vacation, but can’t get away, you might just try a few days without the screens. It could restore you.

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