Abby Quillen

Freelance Content Marketing Writer and Editor

Simple Living

Just One Small Change

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Photo Credit: Matthew Hull

When I was writing my New Year’s Resolutions series, I went on the lookout for simple and inexpensive ways we might live better in 2010. And it struck me how much we might be able to improve our lives by making just one small change.

For instance what if someone committed to a daily walk? That alone could bring better health, relaxation, improved sleep, connection with neighbors, and more quality time with family. And if the walk replaced a car trip, it could even save some money. Every small change I thought of had a similar snowball effect.

Recently I heard an interview with William Wittman, a life coach in Seattle. He talked about an easy daily exercise that he recommends to his clients and insists he’s seen it bring huge changes to people’s lives. He calls it “Owl Ears and Owl Eyes”. The idea is to go outside first thing in the morning, stand still, and look up, down, and side to side without moving your head while listening closely to the sounds around you, first the loud ones, then the quieter ones.

Wittman says that by connecting with nature like this first thing in the morning, we connect with what’s meaningful in the world. And by focusing on looking and listening, we can’t help but quiet our mental chatter and relax. He says he’s seen this one small change motivate people to get healthy, find fulfilling work, reach out to friends, and on and on.

I think Wittman might be on to something. Awhile ago my neighbor put down black plastic over the garden in his backyard, which attracted ducks – sometimes sixty of them at a time. And now each night the ducks circle over our neighborhood in groups of four or five, flying lower and lower until they’re just overhead. (I wrote about it before here; my neighbor has since built a pond for the ducks.)

I’ve been shocked at how much this random, natural (and free) event has improved my family’s quality of life. Most nights we go outside to watch the ducks, and we chat with our neighbors, connect with nature, and enjoy each other’s company. Just one small change really has added up to so much more.

(This post is for Steady Mom’s Thirty Minute Blog Challenge.)

What do you think? Has one small change ever made a big difference in your life?

Simplify Your Personal Care

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Do you have cleansers, creams, lotions, serums, sprays, perfumes, deodorants, and cosmetics packed in your bathroom drawers and cabinets? If so, you’re not alone. A 2004 Environmental Working Group (EWG) survey found that the average adult uses nine personal care products, containing 126 unique chemical ingredients, each day.

These products are expensive. More alarmingly, according to the EWG, many of them contain toxic substances like mercury, lead, pthalates, parabens, and petroleum byproducts.

But the best reason to ditch them? The vast majority are completely unnecessary.

That might sound crazy. Millions of advertising dollars are spent convincing us we need an arsenal of products to maintain proper hygiene and make us look younger and more attractive.

However, in the last five years, I’ve pared down and sought out pure, natural alternatives. And I’ve been shocked to discover that in almost every case, the simple non-toxic replacements work better. And trust me, you don’t have to be a chemist to make these.

Here are some easy substitutions to try if you’d like to simplify your personal care:

  • Instead of under-arm deodorant

Try brushing on:

1/2 cup baking soda mixed with 1/2 cup corn starch

Or for a product closer to what you buy in the store, mix the baking soda, corn starch mixture with coconut oil and a few drops of essential oil, and put it in a recycled deodorant dispenser. (Coconut oil melts at 76 degrees. So in the summer, you’ll want to keep it in the refrigerator.)

  • Instead of mouthwash

Try gargling with hydrogen peroxide. (Bonus: it whitens your teeth.)

Or a salt water solution.

Or a mint herbal infusion. (Steep 1 oz. dried herb in 4 cups boiling water. Refrigerate. Lasts several days.)

  • Instead of shampoo and conditioner

Try using baking soda and apple cider vinegar. This combination works much better than the most expensive natural shampoos and conditioners I used to buy. I wrote about it here.

  • Instead of dandruff shampoo

Try an infusion or decoction of aloe, burdock, cloves, lemongrass, nettle leaf and root, peppermint, rosemary, or willow.

(You can read more about natural herbal hair rinses in this Herb Companion article. It includes more herbs to try for dandruff, as well as herbs for dry scalp and oily scalp issues, and a how-to for making infusions, decoctions, and vinegar extracts.)

  • Instead of hair dye

Try henna.

Or to darken hair, try a sage infusion.

Or to lighten hair, try a chamomile or calendula infusion.

(You can read more about natural hair dyes in this Mother Earth News article.)

  • Instead of lotion

Try olive, almond, or coconut oil.

(Tip: It’s usually cheaper to buy oils in the food section of the grocery store than in the health and beauty section.)

  • Instead of facial moisturizer

Try jojoba oil.

Or aloe vera.

  • Instead of facial cleanser

Try castile soap.

Or a mixture of castor oil and jojoba or olive oil. You can find information about the oil cleansing method here.

Or Rosemary Gladstar’s “miracle grains”:

  • 1 Cup finely ground Oats
  • 2 Cups White Clay
  • 1/4 Cup finely ground Almonds
  • 1/8 Cup finely ground Lavender
  • 1/8 Cup finely ground Roses

I haven’t sworn off all store-bought personal care products. But when I buy them, I look for a short list of ingredients that I’m familiar with. For example, the Badger Nutmeg and Shea body moisturizer my friend gave me for my birthday contains Organic Shea butter, Beeswax, Castor oil, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Nutmeg, Seabuckthorn berry, Rosehip, and Rosemary. Those are the kinds of ingredients I look for.

Do you have a favorite personal-care recipe? Have you discovered a simple, non-toxic alternative that works?

Resolving to do nothing

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Photo credit: Tammy Strobel

I wrote a lot about resolutions in January. What I didn’t mention is that I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions.

This year I decided to though.

I’ve read and heard a lot about the benefits of meditation over the years, most recently in this fascinating interview with Jill Bolte Taylor, author of Stroke of Insight. Taylor is a neuroscientist. Several years ago, she had a nearly life-threatening stroke that wiped out the left side of her brain. She lost her ability to talk, read, and write. But without the left side of her brain functioning (that’s the part that thinks logically, names things, and worries), she felt an extreme sense of euphoria and well-being. Taylor believes meditation can teach the rest of us to quiet the left side of our brains and experience a similar sense of well-being .

I’ve also read about various studies showing that meditation can boost the immune system and make people happier.

I’ve practiced meditation occasionally over the years, but this year I decided to commit to 15 minutes every day. Like most people, I’m busy. I have a toddler, so solitary quiet time is a rarity. And when I have it, I’m usually feverishly working. So this idea of sitting silently for 15 minutes a day felt like something of a radical act.

What is meditation?

People use many different techniques to meditate. The general idea is to try to focus your attention on one thing. Some people say a mantra or “om”, some sit in front of a mirror, some dance or walk.

I simply sit in silence, close my eyes, and try to focus on my breath. When I inevitably find my mind drifting, I just try to bring my awareness back to my breath. I use the word “try”, because meditating is not as easy as it might sound.

Much to my surprise, in just one month, I’ve noticed some fairly huge changes in the way I think and feel.

• More focus.

I have not always been the most focused person. I partly blame the Internet, because I got used to jumping back and forth between ten tabs at once, skimming things, and clicking from link to link. Then I transferred that mindset to my daily life.

For example, I was reading a lot of books at a time. I’d have four or five stacked up on my nightstand. I’d read half of one, then pick up another, then go back to the first one, or pick  up a new one. And even though I’ve always loved fiction, I got distracted from novels most easily, often putting them down after a few chapters.

I am thinking so much more clearly now. I’ve mostly eradicated multitasking from my life. I make a checklist and do one thing at a time. And I’ve been reading one book at a time start-to-finish and have finished a number of novels. (I imagine making checklists also plays a role in my new-found focus, but more on that in another post.)

• Just being, not thinking

It’s easier for me to just be, for its own sake, without over-thinking it. For instance, I can stand in my backyard and feel the wind, listen to the birds, hear the trees rustle, and smell my neighbors’ woodsmoke without even naming those sensations to myself. Meditating seems to be teaching me to feel without thinking, just as Taylor suggested.

• Emotional awareness.

When you meditate, you observe emotions coming and going. You’re supposed to just be aware of them, notice what they do to your body, and name them as they pass. “Fear, anger, impatience, etc.” After practicing this during meditation, I’m more aware of how I’m feeling when I’m not meditating. (This can be quite helpful when living with an irrational (but adorable) toddler.)

• Making peace with slow

I love listening to the radio and podcasts, but I also spend a lot of my days in silence. I find that I’m even more at ease with the silence now. Also when those inevitable slow times arise during parenting, i.e. waiting for a toddler to eat, get dressed, fall asleep, walk in the same general direction as you, etc., I’m seeing them more as opportunities to practice being present and aware.

Honestly this radical experiment I undertook last month feels a lot less radical now. I don’t feel good unless I sit and do nothing for 15 minutes. It’s starting to feel essential.

When I used to run four or five days a week, I felt an incredible freedom knowing that I could just run anywhere if I needed to. I feel a similar sense of freedom knowing that I can just be.

Do you meditate? If so, have you noticed changes in the way you think and feel since you started?

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Is boredom good for us?

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In an essay in the New York Times Book Review, Jennifer Schuessler argues that boredom is an “important source of creativity, well-being and our very sense of self.”

She points to research indicating that when we’re stuck in a boring situation, like lying in an M.R.I machine, certain areas of our brains register greater activity than when we’re engaged in basic tasks. Which areas? The ones responsible for “autobiographical memory, imagining the thoughts and feelings of others, and conjuring hypothetical events” – the same parts you’d use to read or write a story.

These days most of us seem to want to avoid boredom at all costs. We carry around an arsenal of hand-held gadgets to distract ourselves. Our cellular phones alone have cameras, music players, hundreds of “apps”, and constant Internet access. Our culture tends to celebrate busy-ness and minimize the importance of vacations. And many of us fill the leisure time we have with television. In 2008, the average American watched over five hours a day.

But in our quest to eradicate boredom from our lives, could we be throwing away other things too, like our ability to imagine and be creative?

What do you think? Is boredom good for us?


Frugal isn’t cheap

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My husband and I allocate $10 to $20 of free money to ourselves each week. We call it “walking around money”. But I rarely see anything I need, so most weeks, mine ends up tucked away to be saved for later. I want to spend my money on something I’ll really value.

But I’ve always been scared that maybe I’m actually just a little bit cheap.

Some years ago, I went out for dinner occasionally with a group of coworkers. One of them, I’ll call him Mike, never ordered anything even though he seemed to have as much money as the rest of us. He asked for a glass of water and watched us eat while he drummed his fingers on the table or played with his napkin. When someone set a fork down or paused to converse, Mike would lean in. “Are you going to eat that?” he’d ask. Usually someone would push a basket of fries or a salad across the table to him.

Mike had many fine qualities, but frankly, it could be less than fun to hang out with him.

I’ve always been vigilant about paying my share, but I’ve held onto a fear that somewhere deep down, I’m cheap. I’ve just never enjoyed spending money. Malls and box stores are some of my least favorite places. And, with the exception of books (which I never seem to have enough of), I don’t really want much more stuff. I feel like I have more than enough.

So the other night, when I heard economist Chris Farrell on the radio talking about his book The New Frugality: How to Consume Less, Save More, and Live Better, I felt an almost palpable sense of relief when he said:

Frugality is not the same thing as cheapness … Frugality is the exact opposite. Frugality is an embracing of quality. It’s an embracing of experiences. It’s really trying to look at, What are we spending our money on? Why are we spending this money?

He explains that many Americans have had to become more frugal because of the sour economy. But frugality can be more fun than the mindless consuming many of us got in the habit of doing in the previous decade, because we end up spending money on what we really want. And frugality is about looking at why we’re working and what kind of difference we want to make in the world.

He also says, “Being green and being frugal, it’s the same thing, and it’s self-reinforcing.”

Yes! That’s exactly how I look at money.

You can listen to the interview with Chris Farrell on American Radioworks here.

Has the bad economy made you more frugal?

Season Tickets

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This fall, my neighbor, an avid grower of corn, fertilized his backyard garden and pinned black plastic over it. A couple of days later, a few ducks showed up and stayed for the night. He surmised that from above they may have mistook it for a pond.

The next evening more came. And then more. One evening my neighbor counted sixty of them, huddled together, sleeping on the plastic, their bills tucked into their feathers.

Every evening at dusk, they descend in wide circles over the neighborhood in groups of four or five, flying lower and lower, until they’re just above our heads.

My son walks with his strider bike up and down the sidewalk, stopping to point up. “Ga ga,” he calls. That’s his word for duck. Neighbors emerge from their houses. We stand together listening to the ducks call to one another as the sun sets over the Coast Range, and it feels like we’ve bought season tickets to a magnificent show.Save